A matter of Tyne

 

‘We all follow Southampton! Over land and sea AND PORTSMOUTH!” Perhaps those lyrics have never been more appropriate. Flying over the English Channel into London to catch a connecting train from King’s Cross to Newcastle Central. Indeed even the Portsmouth element of the chant was present with a London barman announcing he was a skate. He didn’t share my enthusiasm for Plymouth Argyle’s promotion out of League One. The Green Army doing a good job in pissing off the blue few in our absence - look forward to meeting them next season in the Championship in the Mayflower Derby.

Newcastle are one of those teams we never seem to win away at. In the Premier League era we have won three times at At James’s Park, two of which in the 1990s. 

This week at right back 

The absolute abject display against Bournemouth has stymied any optimism for the remainder of the season. A week that had seen Southampton relinquish, twice, a two goal lead at Arsenal and register an eleventh home defeat of the season, Newcastle conversely hit ‘six of the best’ past Tottenham and in preparation for the move out the Goodison Park, they duly demolished Everton. 

Politely, the Geordie faithful exuded a cautious confidence. Referencing the fact the we had won at Chelsea and that despite the final result not many sides score three at the Emirates. Upon seeing Lyanco in the starting XI at right back thought they’d have been salivating at the thought of Isak in that battle. 

Lyanco did provide a shock assist from right back in the Carabao Cup Quarter Final however other performances in that role include Palace (A) and Forest (H) in both of which Southampton lost by a single goal with the Brazilian losing possession leading to the goal. 

Lasting longer than Tottenham

We had Eddie Howe to thank ultimately for the stay of execution as Anthony Gordon got the nod to start wide left. A player visibly lacking confidence with a price tag you feel is weighing on him - more bust ups than goals since his arrival. Their two best chances of the first half fell to Gordon; one he smashed into the side netting & the other clipping the outside of the post as McCarthy came out to narrow the angle. Realistically if those chances had fallen to any other Newcastle player we’d have conceded in the first half.

Arguably the best chant of the day occurring in the first half as a small collective sang “20 minutes and we’re still here, 20 minutes and we’re still here!”

To Selles credit in the first half there was something resembling a strategy in our approach. Lavia, Stu Armstrong & Alcaraz are all adept ball carriers, upon winning the ball back from our mid/low block you could see the plan to drag ourselves up the pitch through the quality of these three. Alternatively feeding passes into the channel allowed Kamaldeen Sulemana to put the burners on past Dan Burn. 40 minutes in and not only was it surprisingly goalless but the plan was about to work. Lavia won back the ball (we really need to enjoy these final few games with him before a Premier League team picks him up in the offseason) pass to Alcaraz who strides towards the Gallowgate stand. In what is a relative novelty this season other players committed to the counter attack. Alcaraz plays the ball to his right to Sulemana who squares it across the face of goal for Armstrong to tuck home from 6 yards out. 0-1, what the fuck! 

Clearly the proximity to the Scottish border sparked a fire inside Armstrong as he scored his first goal since October 2022. We can utilise this away to Middlesbrough, Sunderland or perhaps both next season should they collectively shit the bed regarding playoffs.

Somewhat resembling office water cooler conversations, the common chatter at the urinals was that a rough second half awaited us. 

Howe stops flirting

Having flirted with us in the first half Eddie Howe saw sense and replaced Gordon for Calum Wilson. Isak Vs Lyanco. Grace and elegance Vs…… let’s say passion that’s a polite word. Sure enough the equaliser was Isak one on one with lyanco before sliding the ball across the goal for Wilson to slot home. 1-1. We’ve seen this film before!

To the credit of particularly McCarthy and Bednarek we defended, bizarrely, resolutely. I don’t think any of us in level 7 thought we’d see the game out but to see some resilience was admirable. 

I credited Selles for a somewhat cohesive plan in the first half. It would appear he abandoned the notion of such a thing entirely for the second half. We managed a total of zero shots and zero touches in the opposition box in the second half. Furthermore his substitutions, not for the first time, didn’t work. Stu and Sulemana had run their race, visibly tired in recovery runs. Lyanco too was struggling against the far quicker Isak. On 70 minutes we had a triple change. I’m conscious of the limited substitution windows that now exist  however the wholesale nature of changes is questionable. We would concede three times in the next 5 minutes. 

Reminiscent of Thursday night against Bournemouth a goal was disallowed for offside with the assistance of VAR. Much like the Bournemouth parody Lady Luck would again run out as a corner was flicked on at the near post by Bruno Guimaraes, substitute Theo Walcott could do nothing as the ball cannoned into the net off him. 2-1, upset for Walcott regarding this incident. He has been a true professional in the last few months, the man recently turned 34 and should be relaxing on a bench rather than spearheading a great escape. Even he can’t escape the voodoo around Southampton currently. 

Ainsley Maitland-Niles will be looking for a new permanent club in 23/24 season as it was revealed he was to part ways with Arsenal. His role in conceding the third goal however will not go down in his highlight reel for prospective clubs. Letting a long ball bounce before being pickpocketed by Wilson who rounded McCarthy to make it 3-1. Personally I would take on AMN on a permanent deal but this incident in isolation was rather awful.

1500 strong

As the full time whistle went, notably the first player to clap the travelling fans, 1500  in number for a side bottom of the league for their longest trip of the season, was Jan Bednarek. Imagine reading that at the start of the season. His attitude again continues to impress, a case could be made for next captain should JWP leave. 

Lavia looked inconsolable at full time. Remarkable that he is just 19 years old, carrying the weight of it all on his shoulders. I wish some of the deadwood showed his spirit. 

Bournemouth beating Leeds on Sunday means somehow we aren’t mathematically dead and buried. At some point we’ll be able to rip the plaster off and call the time of death. It could be at Forest on Monday depending on other results. On a positive note we can’t play any worse at the City Ground than we did at St Mary’s in January. If Forest at home was a sliding doors moment regarding the prospect of relegation, Monday night would be the locking of those doors. In a game that really could be the end of the line for our season you can’t really look past a 1-0 defeat.